Hello to all!

It has been a busy semester since I wrote my last update, which, as far as I can remember, was sometime in late April. At that time, I would have been in only the second or third week of classes in my summer semester here in Germany; now I am done. There is such finality in those words.

I leave on Thursday for the States, and it is a gross understatement to say that I'm not ready. Not only did the summer semester fly by much faster than the winter semester, it was amazing, and I'm not ready for it to end. While the winter semester started for me with my month-long orientation course at the beginning of September and continued through late February, the summer semester began mid-April and ended a couple days ago. The semester itself was three weeks shorter and had no long breaks, like Christmas. We had two four-day weekends in May, which I took good advantage of, and then it was time to buckle down for the whole rest of the semester, one long drive to the end.

The brief overview of what I have done travel-wise this semester:
5 days in Budapest in April
2 trips to the Stuttgart Opera
5 days in Prague
3 days for a scholarship conference in Mannheim and a visit to a friend in Heidelberg
9 days with Deb, a friend from VU who got a summer internship in Germany; we went to Ulm, Blaubeuren, Freiburg, saw Star Wars, went to the RitterSport chocolate factory and shopped out Stuttgart
3 days in Marburg to visit Deb
3 days of visit from a friend I met last summer at my program in Russia
weekend visit from Deb, Nick and Marc in Tuebingen
4 days with my cousins in Cologne
2 days in Heidelberg and Mannheim to visit friends

In between all that, I also took my full course-load and did pretty well in my classes this semester. I had my last exam in French ethnography on Thursday, and I have one term paper to write once I get home, during my 3 weeks before heading back to start a new semester at Valpo. After my exam ended on Friday, I just felt such an overflow of emotions and didn't know what to do with myself. I have cried every day except one since Monday, and I expect I'll continue the trend at least until I leave and probably after I get back. But the finality of being done with my last exam was heart-wrenching. I've gotten so settled here, have my friends, have found my way through the system, have survived both horrible times and great times. I've become even more confident in my ability to solve my problems and became very good at budgeting my money and my time to be able to travel so much this semester with the same amount of money as I had last semester.

At this point, I would gladly stay for another semester and only go back to Valpo for a last semester to graduate, but I can't do that. There are many things I could have had if I had stayed, but I can't stay. And while I spent so much of the year counting down to things, ever since arriving back this semester, I've been wishing time would stand a bit stiller. I think it's a law of my life, however, that as soon as I get settled somewhere, I have to leave. I've gotten very attached to my plain, little dorm room. It has really been my home, and now I have to leave it and will never return to it. Somehow, one tends to get more attached to a room here than a dorm in the States. I sat sadly in my room on Monday evening, looking at the rain through the setting sun and realizing how few nights I had left inside it.

Today I suddenly felt I was going to throw up after Mark and I had brunch together because all my emotions go to my stomach. So we sat out on the balcony, and I had my daily cry, and we talked and prayed together. (And I burned the tops of my feet.) But I realized what an amazing life I have, and I was half crying from pain and half from joy at how many blessings I have. I have found people here who really care about me and will continue to care about me in the future. I have found my way through some very difficult times, and I've become a better person. I've been able to trust in God a lot more, one of my worst weak points before. I really do feel that everything will turn out for the best in the end, even though my emotions and lack of ability to see the big picture make me desire to have the easy emotional solution right now instead of being content to wait and trust. But if I hadn't had such a wonderful four months here, I wouldn't find it so hard to let go of everything. I have a wonderful friend to drive me to the Munich airport, and possibly my other two closest friends will be able to come along. It is very comforting to know that I won't have to go to the airport alone.

I'll fly on Thursday to Chicago, where I'll spend the night, and then I'll continue on to Seattle the next morning, arriving in time for my brother's dress rehearsal. He gets married in less than a week now! I'll be a bridesmaid for his fiancee, Megan, which is very exciting, if not extremely overwhelming.

To be honest, the whole idea of going back to America is very overwhelming. I fit in with the lifestyle here wonderfully. I like the mentality, the pace of life, the opportunities. I like being able to speak multiple foreign languages comfortably and having the opportunity to do so. I'm not sure what to do with the idea of driving a car again, speaking English all the time and German far less, living with a faster pace of life and a different currency. I'm expecting a heap of reverse culture shock. I'm afraid it might be very hard for me to adjust back and, to be honest, I'm not sure that I really want to. After all, I'm intending to come back to Europe again after graduating at Valpo. I would really like to get into a Ph.D. program in transnational theory/international relations at the University of Bremen (northwestern Germany, not too far from the North Sea) or, as a second choice, a Master's in East-West (European) Studies in Regensburg (in southeastern Germany, Bavaria). I think I have a decent chance of getting into the Ph.D. program with doing my honors thesis next year at Valpo, but it means I have the next 6 months to write a doctorate proposal with a thesis topic I'd like to spend 3 years researching.

In the meantime, my parents moved to Truckee this month. We now live about 20 minutes from Lake Tahoe, and Reno is now the closest major city. I'm actually quite excited about the move because it's such a lovely area and doesn't have 110 degree summer heat. I'm excited to see the new house, though I won't get back for the first time until nearly a week after getting back to the States because we're driving back from Robert's wedding.

I'm afraid I've been so busy and happy here that I haven't updated my website since late April; I think the most recent pictures are from Budapest, though I've obviously had hundreds of other adventures. I am not sure when I'll have the time to get my pictures online because I don't know what kind of internet access or time I'll have when I get to my new home. I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled, which should knock me out for a few days, and I haven't got terribly much time to write my term paper and get ready to go back to school. I am hoping to get to Grass Valley to visit people, and people are more than welcome to visit me because I don't know how much I'll be able to drive after surgery and since I haven't driven in so long. I think I may simply be very, very tired.